Today I went to the Hair Cuttery for a haircut. There is this woman who had cut my hair a couple times three years ago, but I had stopped going to her because I thought it was time to pay for sophisticated hair cuts.
When I arrived, she saw me, and she came over and gave me a big hug and asked, “How ARE you!?” I was a little surprised, because I did not think she would remember me. I was also surprised because she must have known I was cheating on her: I haven’t been to her in three years.
“Gooood,” I responded uncomfortably, whilst returning her hug awkwardly.
“I have another client, but give me 15 minutes.” She said.
“Take your time!” I said to her and to her client, so that she didn’t feel rushed. If I were her client, I wouldn’t want my hair cutter to only spend 15 minutes on my hair!
I sat there, waiting patiently, when another customer walked in, looking for my hair cutter. She came over to him, and said, “I’m so sorry, I forgot you had your appointment. It will just be 10 minutes to cut hers,” she said, motioning to me.
At first I thought I should walk out, because I have long hair. Also, I’ve become accustomed to hair cuts where the stylist needs 10 minutes to simply discuss my hair strategy whilst casually berating my use of two-in-one shampoos and hair pins. After shampooing my hair, combing it, and sighing heavily, the snipping begins. After that, there has to be another 20 minutes to show me the benefits of mousse and make my new hair cut look good. It has never been clear to me how long the actual cutting takes, but obviously you have to be a wizard to do all of the above in 10 minutes.
Sure enough, my hair cutter did it. Well, not all of it. She multi-tasked with the snipping, cutting my and inquiring about who else had butchered my hair. And as for the styling, she turned on a blow dryer and waved it at my head for three seconds, but then turned it off as if to say, “Who are we kidding. I’m not going to style your hair.” I was fine with that though.
And that’s the story of my most recent haircut. It’s quite underwhelming.
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