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If you have a parrot, and you don't teach it to say, "Help! They've turned me into a parrot," you are wasting everybody's time.

-Reddit. October 1, 2010

Blog, I hope you enjoyed the quotation from the title of this post, because I’m about to share some really upsetting news with you.

Today, I received an email from my good friend, JCrew. JCrew and I go back several years, and I’ve come to trust JCrew to provide me with many things a good friend would, such as chic coats, fun t-shirts, and fashion tips so that I may continue to maintain my self-proclaimed reputation as a fashion forward professional.

The email contained the following Subject line:
Currently craving: the Blythe blouse

With such a subject line, it’s needless to say, but necessary to type, that I was intrigued. “The Blythe blouse?!” I thought to myself, “And it’s being craved. By whom? ME. I am already craving the blouse. Let’s see it.”

I opened the email to find this:

I’ll give you a moment to look at this picture, as I did.

Are you done? Have you taken it in?

Are you as outraged as I am?

“JCrew is playing me for a fool!” I muttered to myself. The shirt is hideous. It’s so ugly, you can’t even tell the model wearing it is attractive.

How offensive. So offensive, in fact, it warranted a blog post. Be indignant with me, blog, that JCrew would attempt to pitch me such a shirt. Hmph.

Published in Thoughtful Reflection

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