I do not like the nurse that calls to tell me I’m not pregnant. Joan. I don’t blame her for the news, but I do blame her for her delivery.
Next time I’m going to react differently. This time I knew, so I was understanding, but I had follow-up questions about next steps, and Joan seemed surprised by that, which was also annoying. I felt asking those questions was logical. But next time, I’m going to be really crazy. The conversation will go like this:
Joan: I have some bad news.
Me: What is it?
Joan: It was negative.
Me: What was negative?
Joan: The blood test.
Me: What does that mean for me?
Joan: You are not pregnant.
Me: How would a blood test prove that?
Joan: ….
Me: Joan are you there?
Joan: (heavy sigh) I’m sorry this must be difficult. (who knows if she would have the wherewithal to even say this)
Me: Joan what are you trying to say?
Joan: You are not pregnant.
Me: Thank you for sharing your opinion. What did the real doctor have to say about this?
Joan: The doctor says we should try again next cycle.
Me: So you’re saying the doctor shares your theory about blood tests.
Joan: ….
Me: Joan, how do I know…you are not making this up? What if I have the baby, and you take it away?
Me: Joan where is my blood right now? I want it back.
Me: JOAN.
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