Hello Blog.
Terrible awkwardness ensued today as I went in search of nourishment. First, I was going to get Mexican food, but then I decided the line was too long, so I went to another dining establishment to order French fries.
I ordered, paid, and then the fine gentleman behind the counter said, “It’ll be five minutes before they’re ready.” I was outraged. I stood there and glared at him. Five minutes!? I only ordered them because I thought they would be quick. Why didn’t he tell me before I paid? All of these thoughts raced through my mind as I stood there, glaring.
I decided to be patient and wait it out. I headed over to pour some ketchup into a little container. Then, I tried to cover the container with the little matching cap, but it wouldn’t fit. It was awful, dear blog, really a complete disaster, getting that plastic top onto the plastic mini container. I tried another plastic cap, thinking maybe I had chanced upon an aberration in the group of plastic caps and containers. But alas, no, it seems this particular restaurant had ordered two products that were supposed to fit each other, but did not. Thinking quickly, I decided to wrap a napkin around the cap and container so that the ketchup wouldn’t spill en route to my return to work with the french fries and ketchup.
I again glared at the gentleman behind the counter. Had he prefaced my payment with, “It will take five minutes to make the fries, and you will not be able to place a lid on top of the condiment container,” I would have thought twice before ordering. I would have weighed my options heavily. Perhaps I would have frowned to indicate my great displeasure. Who knows?
Instead, I struggled with the ketchup container, and glared, awkwardly. At one point, the young woman cooking the fries smiled at me. I wanted to shake my fist at her and yell, “Now is not the time for smiling! Now is the time for french fry making!” but that would have been a bit dramatic, and maybe I would have been misconstrued as a maniac. So, instead of yelling back, “I’ve had enough of your restaurant’s trickery and deceit!” I returned a friendly smile to the woman.
To my complete horror, rather than continue working on the fries after I smiled back, she walked away and went to the restroom. My future fries were left totally unattended. I looked around frantically. “What if she is going number two? That will take forever! I’m never getting my fries! ALL HOPE IS LOST!”
Then some other guy jumped in and put my fries into a paper cup and handed me my bag. I gently placed my plastic-container-with-the-ketchup-wrapped-in-a-napkin into the bag, thanked the people behind the counter, and headed back to work. The end.
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