Paris in Winter from Video on Vimeo.
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Hello my dearest. I have returned from Paris, a city that lights up in the winter so brightly and beautifully that you forget how little you’ve accomplished with all the opportunities you’ve been given. “Wow, that sentence didn’t end the way I expected it to,” you think. Yes, me neither. We’ll have to explore that professional despair later though, because right now we need to discuss the wonderful fashion trend we found in Paris: Elbow patches.
Elbow patches instantly make every shirt, cardigan, and blazer outstanding. Take this hoody for example. It’s okay. Nice cut.
Now take a look at this. Boom.
You see me and you think, “Wow. Just wow. This woman is obviously an intellectual. She is that rare mix of culturally informed and socially accessible. I’m not quite sure how I know, but I do.”
If you hadn’t read this entry, you wouldn’t understand what is triggering this astute observation, but you would feel it in your heart. And then, then you would think, “I want to be her friend.” That is the power of elbow patches.
Fortunately I had the good sense to purchase not one, but two shirts with elbow patches, during my travels. I immediately put them into my ensemble rotation, and it’s only a matter of time before I am the sartorial envy of all my friends.
Leave a CommentMy favorite band right now is definitely Glee. I would be embarrassed about this, if they weren’t the most spectacular thing to hit the music scene since Justin BestillMyHeart Bieber. Now, you might be thinking, “Aren’t you too old for this kind of music taste?” Well, I have two ears and a very big heart, so the answer is obviously, “No.” Let’s move on!
I recently met Connor’s girlfriend, Jody. Since Connor is a good friend who needs all the help he can get with the ladies, it was imperative that I make the best first impression. And I did. I really did. First, we invited Connor and Jody over for dessert. They accepted. Then, we crafted a dessert menu that would make even the fanciest Olive Garden blush: freshly peeled fruit, ripe strawberries, plum cakes, vanilla gelato, hazelnut chocolates, alcohol and coffee. It’s also worth mentioning that I put out a fresh bottle of hand soap in the guest bathroom, so Jody would be impressed with how finely we live.
When Connor and Jody arrived, we bounded towards the door. Well, David was standing by the door, so he opened it, and I sprinted over with a plate of fresh strawberries to welcome them at his side. “Welcome! Welcome! It’s so good to see you!” we said, as they entered our newly vacuumed condo. “Would you like strawberries?!” I asked, eagerly presenting them with the plate. They politely declined, which was a relief, because it was actually an empty gesture. People can’t be eating strawberries in our entrance hallway. That would result in chaos.
“Please have a seat,” I said, leading them towards the living room, where I set down the plate of strawberries next to some plates and napkins so people could nibble on them to their hearts’ content. They did not sit down right away. Instead, they milled about. Concerned that there had been some kind of misunderstanding, I casually helped them out: “This is our couch,” I said, pointing to our large couch. Luckily I quickly realized that they weren’t sitting not because they didn’t understand that that was the couch, but rather that they wanted a tour! So I continued, “And this…this is our kitchen!” I pointed to the kitchen, right next to the living room. “Come. Let me show you,” I graciously offered. “This…is our refrigerator.” Since that’s the extent of our kitchen, I was forced to really build up the refrigerator, which is also nothing spectacular, so I focused on the decor on our refrigerator: “This is a printout of temperatures that meat should be for when we use a meat thermometer. It’s very helpful. This is a picture of me and David from a photo booth. This is ANOTHER picture of us from a photobooth, a year later!” I could tell Jody was liking these explanations, so I continued by sharing why these photos were fun.
“When David and I were planning our wedding, I really wanted a photobooth. So we went to a wedding showcase and tried out this photobooth.”
We got into the booth, and we stood there.
Then I said, “David, let’s kiss.”
To which David replied, “No!”
I replied, “Okay…haha….wait what?”
David said, “I have to see how this thing works.”
So I thought about this.
Then I realized it was lunacy.
“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!? IT’s A CAMERA IN A GIANT BOX. WHY WON’T YOU KISS ME? THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE DO IN A PHOTOBOOTH. THAT IS HOW PHOTOBOOTHS WORK!”
Then our demo session was done, and we stepped out of the booth. The vendor, who probably heard us yelling, looked at me and looked at the photo strip from our demo. I looked back at him and said, “Does this come with boas and funny hats? We’ll take it. I’ll be in touch.”
We ended up deciding not to have a photobooth. The story doesn’t end there though!
Almost a year later, David picked a restaurant for Valentine’s Day. “Look, they have a photobooth!” he said.
He knew what to do this time. Warning! You’re about to see PG-13 content.
I felt Jody enjoyed this story as thoroughly as you just must have dear reader, and seized this opportunity in front of the refrigerator to offer our guests beverages: “Would you like water, juice, beer, liquor, or coffee? We have Acai juice and orange juice.”
They both selected water.
I cleverly quipped, “How cold should I make the water? I know, enough to break the ice, please have a seat!”
Okay, I didn’t say that, but I should have. It would have cemented in Jody’s mind that which she probably already suspected: I am Connor’s coolest friend.
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I watched Adaptation last week. It’s a movie about a writer struggling to write a screenplay based on a best-selling novel about orchids. It’s a movie about a brother struggling with his twin brother’s writing talent. It’s a movie about a man struggling with his own adequacies. And it’s a movie about story.
As in, it’s about Story, the book about how to write a good story, written by Robert McKee. In the movie, the protagonist’s brother recommends that he read the book and attend the seminar on the book. Charlie Kaufman, the protagonist, ends up reading the book, talking to the author, and entertaining dialogue ensues. I’ve decided to start reading the book as well, and there have been many a highlight-able passage. In fact, I have been so inspired by the meaningful instruction in the book, that I feel compelled to write these passages down, repeat them and demand David discuss them with me. But writing them down on paper, I realized, would not be enough. I needed something bigger to reflect the gravitas of the ideas. So, we bought a whiteboard. On this whiteboard, we will draw elaborate diagrams that reflect brilliant brainstorming. Our visitors will marvel at the profundity of the Story quotations and of course, our creativity.
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