Category: Social Life

Me Yesterday Morning: I am an adorable pregnant woman. You can really only tell I’m pregnant when I turn to the side. My face remains slim and my arms – toned.

Me Yesterday Evening (after seeing several photos of myself): What?! Who is this chubby troll?!

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We’re on Week 33 now, but this post is about what I did in Week 31.

On Tuesday I had my follow-up with the nutritionist to see how the GD was going. She did not look like how I think a nutritionist should look, and she advised me against eating salads. I told her about how the insurance company could not send me a blood testing kit for 8 days, and the strips that came with their provided OneTest had sold out. I also shared how ridiculous it was that there were so many unique brands for the testing kits and how my insurance company asked that I research devices and select the one I wanted while on the phone with them. I also lamented about the state of the healthcare system, she said, “How do you think I feel? I hear about this all day!”
I wanted to say, “Um, excuse me, this is my time.” Anyway she looked at my chart and sent me on my way.

On Wednesday I had the follow-up with my ob-gyn, who chastised me for using the Ketosis strips. She shared that the office believes in evidence-based medicine, and urine does not provide real evidence, hence why they never collect a urine sample from me. Then she told me I shouldn’t beat myself up for eating cookies once in a while.

So something I did not understand about gestational diabetes that I needed spelled out: I have not harmed the kiddo. I’m the one with the diabetes right now. The harm would be if I kept eating sugars and having high blood sugar and the kiddo got too big. So I can eat treats – I’m only hurting myself. This was something that took me a while to understand.

Anyway then we went to New York. On Friday night my friends ordered dessert that I could not partake in because I wanted to save my treat count for a meal later in the weekend. David whispered, “This must be very hard for you,” as they all raved that this was the best dish of the meal, and I declined to eat it. I almost cried. I love dessert. Of course it was the best part of the meal, I thought. DESSERT IS ALWAYS THE BEST PART OF THE MEAL. I held it together though, and after that decided to indulge a little. I can control the blood sugar with walking, so there’s not much reason to hold back. Also I might hate those friends now.

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David says he’s doing fine. Yesterday I came home and found him eating from three different bags of shredded cheese and drinking a bottle of wine. So I don’t know for sure. He said he was fine, but he had cheese shreds all over his beard when he said it.

Then I looked at the calcium content on one of the cheese bags, and I learned yesterday I probably was not getting enough calcium, so I also ate a huge chunk of shredded cheese.

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Hello! We are at the top of Week 27, and I learned only this morning that I have been snoring for the past three months!

I have had quite a bit more mucus in the mornings, so I assume this is related. Also I don’t know if I’ve mentioned, but I can’t really see my legs anymore. Yesterday I saw through a mirrored reflection that a modest forest had sprouted on my legs. And I’ve been wearing dresses for weeks! I wonder who saw me and thought, “Brave feminist.” Anyway, how upsetting that I am no longer the picture of femininity that I once was.

This weekend we looked at strollers, and the selection was a bit overwhelming. The strollers looked nothing like the kinds I had as a kid. And they were expensive.

Also we walked around our condo and tried to figure out what to do. We concluded nothing.

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I bought some pregnany underwear: underwear that should be comfortable and can cover my changing body and also give my belly lots of space. The colors I selected are neutral (tan, gray, white). The material is cotton and some spandex, presumably so they stay up. The size is large, because that’s what I need.

Anyway, the underwear arrived yesterday! And the wash instructions were like “Hand wash. Do not put in dryer.” And then some ADDITIONAL INSTRUCTIONS, but I stopped reading. I will absolutely be putting this stuff into the washing machine under regular cycle and then into the dryer. I don’t know who this underwear thinks it is…but it is not getting hand wash treatment. It was also marketed to me as great for pregnant bellies, so what pregnant woman is acquiring high maintenance under garments?

In other news, I still have a cold. But I am hoping it’s getting better. I can’t say for sure though.

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This week we have a cold! Well I have a cold. The good news is she doesn’t have a cold and is protected by the placenta.

The cold has been quite the nuisance. It started with a scratchy throat Sunday morning, and every night starting at 2am I wake up every hour with a parched mouth – because I can’t breathe through my nose – and a need to pee. When we were abroad I got up at 8am every morning, so I wonder if this is half cold and half poor jet lag recovery. She’s generally moving by the time I get back to bed, which is nice!
I want to know how she’s moving though. Is she moving her feet, is she turning around, is stretching? I have no idea – I just feel something like bubbles in the belly.

David has been busy with work and his Japanese studies, but I know he’s still around because right after I finish doing the dishes new ones appear. *drum beat and cymbals* Thank you, thank you.

Social media ads have done a great job targeting me during this time. I get a lot of ads for pregnancy fitness apps and pregnancy clothes. Today when I was feeling bummed I even got an add for pregnancy meditation, to make me feel happier. This is remarkable because I am pretty certain I did not google or write anything on email or text that would have triggered this compelling, related advertisement. Did I download the app? No, absolutely not. The last thing I need is to be alone with my thoughts for five minutes a day.

Yesterday I was talking to a talented cast member in my comedy troupe who hasn’t written anything in a while. I shared that I thought pregnancy would help me write fun new material, but really I’m just too sad to write. “I feel the same way,” he shared.
He’s not pregnant, so I tried to dig to find out what was affecting his comedy juices. “There’s a lot going on,” I said.
“There’s so much going on!” he replied.
“Do you read the news,” I asked. “There’s something every day that’s upsetting. It’s hard to laugh anymore.”
“No,” he replied, earnestly, “But I hear about it from other people, and it’s rough out there.”

This answer was FASCINATING. I didn’t even really know how to reply. What did he mean he hears about it from other people? And how long do you listen to other people talk about the news and get upset before you start doing your own reading? And who is sharing the information with him? I had so many questions! I didn’t want to pry though, because I thought it might sound judgmental. I have the luxury of affording subscriptions to publications that can invest in journalism, but that’s not the case for everyone. And there are lots of free news sources on the internet, but some of their motivations can be suspect, and sometimes opinion pieces masquerade as reporting on sites of ill-repute.

Speaking of upsetting news, I want to use a re-usable water bottle I received at the Women in Comedy festival, to do my part for the environment. But it’s not dishwasher safe, so I don’t understand …how…I’m supposed…to wash it. Not my finest hour, given I grew up in a house that used the dishwasher for clean towel storage. I’m going to dig deep into the memory archives.

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