Category: Social Life

Sun is Shinin'

Published August 31, 2009 by Editor in Chief

Yesterday I saw the world through a whole new lens.

Literally.

I bought sunglasses! At the beginning of the day, I was prepared to pay top dollar (maybe a little less, preferably sale price) for some nice, slick sunglasses. “I’m going to go to the Sunglass Hut!” I thought to myself. “Maybe, maybe I’ll get Chanel sunglasses. Does Chanel make sunglasses? If not, I’ll get Dior. Maybe Burberry? Who knows. Who knows what designer brand will shield my eyes from the brutal sun?”

Before embarking on my quest for the perfect sunglasses, I did research on face types and their matching glasses. If you have a pointy chin, you want glasses that do not call attention to your chin. Your glasses must NOT be wider than your cheekbones. If you have long hair, you must try the sunglasses on with your hair down AND your hair up. I took vigorous notes as I scoured the internet for such guidance. I was committed to purchasing impeccable sunglasses. Like Moses freed the Jews from Egypt, I was to free my eyes from the sun’s glare. It was my destiny.

So there I was, ready to go to Sunglass Hut, ready to change the way I looked at things. Then, I realized something. I cannot afford designer sunglasses.

I struggled internally.

Bad me: Designer sunglasses are the only ones that have true UVA/UVB protection.

Good me: That’s not true.

Bad me: Designer sunglasses will make men want you, and women want to be you.

Good me: That is true.

Bad me: And designer sunglasses will bring you the happiness you’ve yet to find anywhere else.

Good me: Wait what?

Bad me: Up until now, our life has been an empty, demoralizing struggle for attention, recognition,
quite frankly, even the slightest acknowledgment of existence, and designer sunglasses are the key to changing all of that.

Good me: I think you’re taking this too far.

Bad me: Of course you do. That’s why you will be lost forever in obscurity.

Good me: You shouldn’t waste money on designer sunglasses. You’ve done the research, you can figure out what good glasses will look like. You cannot afford the glasses!

Bad me: Steal them!

Good me: No! I will not!

Bad me: So be it. BORED. You bore me. * yawn *

Well, Good me prevailed, and I got some excellent sunglasses from CVS! For $17.99 I feel good about my new sunglasses. They’re hip, they flatter all the right features, and I remain the law-abiding citizen my parents raised me to be.

Score one for the good guys.

How to annoy people and alienate judges

Published February 28, 2009 by Editor in Chief

Ugh, blog, something bad happened yesterday.

It took me weeks to complete an important application and only minutes to undermine the character of the intelligent, conscientious person I worked so hard to present in the personal statement.

Here’s how it went. I applied for a program, and the program asked for several materials, including a recommendation letter, some photos, a personal statement, and a registration fee. I arrived at the office to turn in the application and asked the person listed as a contact person to review my application to make sure I had all the materials. We went through the portions in my application.

I said, “Here are the passport photos.”

She said, “Okay perfect, this is what I need. Just fill out the credit card authorization form and you’re all set.”

I stared. “Um, the photos are U.S. passport size, I didn’t know what to do, because they only print 2 x 2.”

She stared, “Right, I need 2×2.”

“Well, the application asks for 4.5cm x 3.5 cm.” I said, pointedly.

“These are the size I’ll need.” She responded, more pointedly.

“Okay great,” I replied.

Then I said, “I didn’t put a transcript, because it looks like they only wanted transcripts for undergraduates.”

She said, “I need a sealed transcript.”

I said, “Well, oh, um.”

She said, “You can bring it Monday.”

I said, “But it’s due today.” I have no idea why I said that. Who says that after someone says you can bring it in Monday?

She said, “Right, but if you’re missing one piece, that’s fine. I’m not going to reject an application for that.”

At this point I think about pointing to the line that says, “We will not process incomplete applications,” but I restrain myself.

Then she says, “It’s pretty easy to get a transcript – you just pick it up from the registrar.”

I said, “Okay great, they give you one right away? Do they require a sealed one?”

She replied, “Yes, it MUST be sealed.”

So I said, “Okay.”

And I was off, running to the registrar, to get me a sealed transcript.

When I got to the registrar’s office, I asked for two sealed transcripts.

And then, I was off, running back to the administrative office, to get her my sealed transcript.

I got to the office, huffing and puffing, and I handed her one sealed transcript.

She then proceeded to tear it open in front of me.

I was taken aback. I said, “Uh, now that you’ve opened that transcript, would you like a sealed one?”

She stared at me, like I was a dumba$$. “No, this is fine.”

It then occurred to me that she was the one reviewing the application. She wasn’t the person packaging the applications to send them to the people abroad. She was the decision maker! I was pestering the decision maker!

So anyway, on my part, I suspect…FAIL.

Epilogue:

I sent her an email after the whole in-person exchange. I told her I found some place on the internet that says I was supposed to include a copy of my insurance card too. She didn’t write back.

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