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Category: Social Life

I'll Sew You (pun!)

Published November 2, 2009 by Editor in Chief

On Halloween, we met a couple that made their own costume. As we stared at a picture of a previous year’s costume they had created, a dynamic duo of dinosaurs, I wistfully asked David, “Do you think we could make a costume like that next year?”

He laughed, “NO,” and then walked away.

Then in the car ride home, he started talking about the other couple. “I can’t really imagine you in that way,” he casually began. “You know, sewing costumes and cooking for me.”

“Perhaps that’s because you lack imagination,” I replied, quickly. So quickly. Only someone with my superior intellect and breadth of personality could reply as quickly as I did to his scathing comment. Actually Mike, confession, this is one of those occasions where I mislead the reader into thinking I’m sharp and sassy in real life.

Here’s what really happened: I looked at him, wide-eyed and angry: “Wait, is that why you thought we couldn’t make dinosaur costumes? Because you can’t picture me sewing?”

He laughed, “Did I actually say we couldn’t do dinosaurs? Oh yeah! Yup – that’s why.”

My eyes narrowed. Them was fightin’ words.

I am going to sew an elaborate Halloween costume – an edible one, no less.

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Smooth Criminal

Published October 30, 2009 by Editor in Chief

Yesterday, I bought skinny jeans.

While I was at the register, paying for the new style of jeans, I eyed a pair of jeans I bought last year from the same store. I walked over to it and looked at the price tag, trying to decide whether to buy a second pair of jeans I already had.

Another saleswoman watched me, and then said, matter-of-factly, “Someone like you should not be looking at Legend Zoe Bootleg Jens.”

I looked at her.

She continued, “With your figure, it is a CRIME to sell you anything other than skinny jeans, like the ones you’ve picked out.”

I replied, “Oh, a salesperson recommended and sold me those jeans last year – ohmygosh,” I looked around, lowering my voice, “are you saying that sale was…illegal?!”

She stared me.

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Quotable Quotes

Published October 15, 2009 by Editor in Chief

Modern Family
10/14/2009

Phil: Oh I see you brought your axe.

Dylan: Yeah. Were you in a band too?

Phil: Oh me? No. In high school, I was really into my magic.

David
10/14/2009

David: So he said to me, “You certainly know food.” Yes. It was the first time a qualified chef finally recognized my talents in appreciating good food…then I sat there and bragged about all the sushi restaurants I’ve eaten at. (thoughtful pause) That may have been tacky.

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Watch I've Been Watching on Repeat for the Past 24 Hours

Published October 8, 2009 by Editor in Chief

“If there’s two things America needs right now, it’s sunshine and optimism…and also angels.”

I love Glee so much. The episode last night was about taking performance enhancing over-the-counter drugs, so keep an eye on how much energy the lead singer has. It’s brilliant acting. It’s such a great show!

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Robber Barons

Published October 6, 2009 by Editor in Chief

Guess what I made tonight?

I made David cook me dinner. What upppp! *high five*

Actually, he volunteered.

Anyway, today I got a text message from Verizon.

Do you know what it said? It said,

Free VZQ MSG: Why pay $.20 per text message? Get a $5 text package with 250 messages.

My jaw dropped. I took in a deep breath, and then I said out loud, to myself, like a crazy person, “That’s RIGHT Verizon. WHY PAY TWENTY CENTS PER TEXT MESSAGE?! Especially when it was just supposed to be $0.15!!!”

It’s $0.20 now! Can you believe it?! Back in the day, text messages were only $0.15 when you weren’t on a texting package. You know what this means? It means that I will not be linking my new Twitter account to my cell phone.

That’s right. Something else big happened today. I joined Twitter. Let me know if you’re on it, and I’ll follow you. Tell me your thoughts. Share your dreams. Tweet your secrets. I want to know.

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Awkward Accoutrement

Published October 4, 2009 by Editor in Chief

Gallivanting in the city late Saturday night
We met Andrea’s friends, quite the delight.
They were friendly, sarcastic, clever and fun;
We were sad when the night ended, and we had to run.

The next day, a text message I received
“What a nice message,” I originally believed:

Thanks for coming out last night! I was told the following, “David is a guy everyone would have a crush on” and you “are amazing. What a dreamboat!” I do not lie!

So I said, “Aww,” and handed it to my brother
Who read the message, but perception, well, had another.

“All this tells me,” he said forming a sly grin,
“Is her friend has a crush on David – do you feel chagrin?”
I narrowed my eyes; his observation was true!
She fancies my man, what do I do?

I sat and thought, I worried a while.
How do I stop her from digging his style?
She’ll be at the New Years party, which we will not miss
What if she tries to give him a big, sloppy kiss?

Finally, I decided it was time to take action
Of his lips, she will never have the satisfaction.
So now I clear my throat, with a dramatic cough,
And say, with straight face…

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Anyone Else

Published October 1, 2009 by Editor in Chief

Well. I did it. Today, I cut my fingernails.

I know what you are thinking.

You are thinking, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

junomovieWell, listen, don’t worry. I only cut the nails on my left hand. The nails on my right hand remain impeccable, shaped to perfection.

Cutting was rash but necessary. David was teaching me to play the guitar (pronounced git-tarr), and my fingernails were interfering with the notes. So, the nails had to go.

Why was he even teaching me to play guitar? Well, I’m glad you asked. We were going to learn the duet “Anyone Else But You.” Why that song? Because David is the Juno to my Paulie Bleeker. Plus, the song seemed easy, and you can replace the words with anything you want, as long as you end each sentence by crooning, “Anyone else, buuuutttttt you, do dodo do dodo do.”

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The Talk

Published September 29, 2009 by Editor in Chief

David and I finally had “the talk.”

It happened last night. He called; I couldn’t put it off anymore.

“What are you doing?” He casually asked.

“I was about to watch Gossip Girl,” I replied.

He paused. Then he continued, “Hey, the season premier of Dexter was on last night.”

“Listen…” I started, “I’ve been thinking.”

“Yeah?” he replied, unsuspecting. Poor thing.

“I …don’t think I’m going to watch Dexter this season.” I blurted.

There was silence on the other end. He was processing what I had just said.

Finally, he responded, “I don’t understand.”

“Don’t fight it,” I should have said. But I didn’t. I dragged it out. “I just…I thought really hard about it, and I don’t have the time to follow Dexter this season.”

I could hear his bewilderment on the other end.

“But you like Dexter,” he finally whispered.

“I liked Dexter,” I corrected him. “The third season – I just didn’t really enjoy it.”

“You didn’t give the third season a real chance,” he accused me. How. Dare. He.

“I gave it a chance, okay.” I defended. “You need to accept this and move on. Remember how you were thinking about cutting out Parks and Recreation this season? Well, I choose Dexter.”

“But that’s different!” he cried. “Plus, I decided I would watch Parks and Recreation this season!”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t think I can do it.” I firmly said.

“Gossip Girl just started. We’ll talk about this later.” He hung up – such a drama queen.

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XOXO Hairbands

Published September 23, 2009 by Editor in Chief

Have you seen the summer stop-motion? I wasn’t going to post for a while, because I wanted to make sure you saw it.

Did you?

I’ll wait in case you want to watch it again. Go on! All you have to do is scroll down a little.

Okay, now let’s talk about something very important. Fashion. I fancy myself a bit of a fashionista – I know a lot about fashion. In my current office, I’m usually the best dressed person. The other guy wears sweats a lot.

Anyway, on this past Monday’s episode of Gossip Girl, Dan, now apparently an authority on being cool, took Blair’s yellow hairband and said, “Hairbands are for high-schoolers.” He then threw her hairband down the stairs. I gasped.

(Image courtesy of Gossip Girl Insider)no-headbands-in-college

I immediately knew what I had to do. With the stealth of a fox, I looked around the room and smoothly slipped off the hairband I was wearing and chucked it into my bag.

Then, I loudly snickered, “It’s about time Blair stopped wearing headbands,” for good measure.

…okay…

Confession. That’s not really how it all went down. Instead, as I watched Dan fling Blair’s headband into the stairwell, I gulped.

I was swallowing sadness.

I love hairbands, and I have five, and now I have to think twice before I wear them because apparently they’re for high schoolers.

Gossip Girl giveth and Gossip Girl taketh away.

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Summer Abroad

Published September 21, 2009 by Editor in Chief

Remember how I was abroad a few months ago? And remember how I love stop-motion? Well I made a stop-motion commemorating the summer trip! Now, mine isn’t very good, and the words are blurry because I went about creating the text scroll in a rudimentary way, but it still took me forever to make. I realize it’s small, but the file was so big it was the only way I could negotiate maintaining image quality. No more excuses, now you must enjoy!


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