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Category: Quotable Quotes

On Humor

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows live delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

-Bill Cosby

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Flying into the New Year

I just saw the best in-flight safety video. I laughed, I retained the information, and I feel a little bit safer on the flight because I am confident about my awareness of the exits, the flotation devices, and air masks. It was a phenomenal video. I’m flying Virgin America, and this post is brought to you courtesy of google, who is providing in-flight wireless services for free! So if you happen to be flying Virgin America this season, you have a lot to look forward to.

In other news, David is sleeping soundly. Well, wait, maybe not, let me check by staring at him and monitoring his breathing, maybe touching him gently to see if he stirs; perhaps a subtle shake too, to be sure.

Okay, yes, I’ve confirmed it: David was sleeping soundly. We bring you only the facts, here at imawkward.com.

And now, I bring you my favorite email exchange for the year: it is an email exchange between me and the study abroad director, Sarah, in regards to a mandatory orientation session. Note: I do not know Sarah well, and the email exchange is legit.

—————

Sarah I’m sorry -I should have sent this email to you much, much sooner. I realize this session is MANDATORY. Is there any contingency plan for people who cannot make it? Any kind of reading they could pick up? Any kind of begging they can do to get
the information?

-Me

————

Hi [My Name],

Not really. You can pick up your materials next week and then make an appointment Kristen Erics separately.

I have to ask if this is a really important reason, because you definitely won’t get the same information by doing the above.

Sarah

————

Hi Sarah,

Yes, it is very important. – my friends are getting married (my boyfriend is best man), and it’s a morning wedding, so I should make it in time, but I was worried it would go over-time. Because they are such good friends, I wouldn’t feel great sneaking out early. Most importantly, the groom has instructed the bride to throw the bouquet to me, and if I’m not there to catch it, I may never get married.

-Me

——–

Just come when you can. It you can make it by 4 or so, that would be
fine. Just go straight to your meeting room.

Sarah
______

Thank you for understanding.

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Quotable Quotes

Modern Family
10/14/2009

Phil: Oh I see you brought your axe.

Dylan: Yeah. Were you in a band too?

Phil: Oh me? No. In high school, I was really into my magic.

David
10/14/2009

David: So he said to me, “You certainly know food.” Yes. It was the first time a qualified chef finally recognized my talents in appreciating good food…then I sat there and bragged about all the sushi restaurants I’ve eaten at. (thoughtful pause) That may have been tacky.

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