Sometimes I wonder what kind of military leader I would be. And then a little fly will swoop by, and I will murder it on the 20 percent chance that it might decide to bite me. And as I’m washing its blood off my hands, I’ll mutter, “This wouldn’t have happened if you had kept the battle outdoors, on your own soil.”
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Saturday’s topic is politics! While there are many devastating things happening in the world today, I have been particularly anxious to talk about how much I love the Petraus scandal. I imagine when everyone first heard about it, we did that thing where we slap our palm against our forehead in despair. Then, as we all heard more about the scandal, I think our mouths dropped and our eyes widened. I know the new tidbit that impressed me was the 20,000- 25,000 pages of emails exchanged between the Florida socialite and the other general. That is a lot of emails. They must both be formidable typists, we must have all thought, as a nation. I imagine they type no less than 45/55 words per minute, because otherwise who has the time to be such a prolific emailer!?
I also loved the FBI shirtless photo that was revealed to the public. Never before has a playful joke photo backfired so masterfully. I can’t wait until one of my friends becomes a public figure. If they become mired in a scandal, I will be the first to step forward: “He once sent me a picture of him…dressed as Quail Man, from Doug. As you can see, he is wearing his underwear outside of his pants. Read into that what you will, but I’m just saying, it’s not right. Maybe it was for Halloween, maybe it wasn’t. There’s no way to be sure with this kind of man.”
Anyway, I’ve noticed the media has been covering this scandal less, as the Israel Palestine conflict continues to get more violent. Let’s hope they remember to give this scandal continued in-depth coverage as more details emerge*!
*I’m only sort of kidding.
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