I have a few important updates to share with you.
1. Before we were engaged, intellectually stimulating shows like Bridezilla and Say Yes to the Dress were on TV all the time. I know they were on all the time, because I would turn on the TV, watch them, and yearn for the day David would propose so that I too could be on these shows and berate whoever was standing next to me for eating donuts eight months before my wedding. Then in my dream world, after my demeaning tirade on eating donuts was complete, I would slowly eat my victim’s donut as she/he watched.
Now, it seems like I cannot find any bride shows! It’s the worst, I tell you! How am I to know how to have a dramatic breakdown?!
2. I have a chigger bite. You know how just two sentences ago I wrote not having any bride shows is the worst? Well, that was an overstatement. Not having any bride shows is actually just curious. This chigger bite is the worst. Here is a picture I found on the internet that looks a lot like mine:
The area around the bite is fiercely itchy.
This picture is so revolting, that I hope you post something new just so it’s not the first thing I see on those rare occasions when I visit your blog.
Gross.