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Month: September 2008

Introspection

Published September 29, 2008 by Editor in Chief

Shana tova, blog! When the sun sets today, it will be Rosh Hashanah, and I will begin to engage in intense introspection, not because I’m Jewish, but because I welcome any excuse to engage in intense introspection.

I will hear the sounding of the shofar! I will eat a festive meal! I will probably not spend all day in prayer, because I’m not actually Jewish. Blog, I just like to pick and choose which parts of different religions I like best. One religion I believe I should be more involved in is Hinduism. I read,

“It has been said that Hindus have a holiday for every day of the year, but even that may be an understatement! Exactly how many Hindu festivals are celebrated is not known, but one scholar of Hinduism has listed more than a thousand different Hindu festivals.”

More than a thousand, blog! Christianity has it all wrong.

In other news, blog, it’s Monday, and that means it’s a new week in which things can go terrifically right! There’s so much potential for wonderful things to happen this week!

And now for a little dose of my usual shenanigans. I was showing a gentleman from my office how to get to a building. I pointed in the distance and asked, “Do you see the Chipotle over there?” But I said it in a non-question tone, so that it sounded rhetorical. So it sounded more like I was saying, “You see the Chipotle over there, right? That will be the frame of reference.”

And the gentleman nodded, “Yes.”

And I replied, “Really, you see it? I don’t really see it.” And my implied tone there was, “LIAR! Ha! You are a liar, and I have caught you in your web of lies. You don’t see the Chipotle! No one does! It is hidden by trees!”

He said, admittedly, “Well, no I don’t really see the Chipotle.” And then he paused and said, “Oh wait, yes I do! Behind those trees!”

I said, “Yes! Great!” What I meant by this was, “You see, honesty has made this little encounter more productive.” Then, after the “Great!” I said, “So over to the left, that giant visible building, that’s the building you want to go to.”

He confirmed what I had suspected all along. Sometimes, people say they see or understand something, but that is not always necessarily the case. It’s good to take a step back and make sure you are on the same page. Blog, I’m just a wealth of social knowledge.

Now on a more personal note, blog. I totally love the outfit I’m wearing today. I love it so much, I want to wear it tomorrow. Unfortunately that’s not really appropriate.

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Plan C

Published September 27, 2008 by Editor in Chief

Blog, terrible news, we have to move on to PLAN C.

Plan A was to run in the upcoming 10 miler. I did all I could to execute on plan A: I bought shoes, I thought about running, I felt guilty for not running, the list of my efforts goes on. There’s no need to inundate you with all of my efforts, blog. You have better things to do.

So, anyway, I then changed Plan A, _run_ in the 10 miler, to Plan B, _run/walk/mostly walk_ in the 10 miler. I thought this was more realistic. I would power-walk my way through this ridiculous goal. That way, I will have completed the race, been able to wear my race t-shirt proudly, and been able to participate in conversations about how accomplished I felt for taking part in a 10 mile race.

After trying to run during my lunch break the other day, it occurred to me that I might incur some great physical damage if I actually try to power walk ten miles. Which brings us to Plan C. I will start the race with the awful friends who pressured me, an innocent, unsuspecting, unassuming young woman, into originally signing up. We will run lightly together for the first quarter of a mile, and then I will tell them I’ll catch up, and they should go on. Then, I will go for as long as I can until the safety bus comes around and picks me and the other stragglers up. This is Plan C. I feel if I do Plan C, I can still wear the race t-shirt.

In other news blog, I want to wear overalls. I want to wear overalls so badly, but they’re terrifically out of style. Additionally, because neither housework, nor painting, nor garden work are on my agenda today, there is no purpose to justify my wearing of overalls. It’s really unfortunate, because overalls are very comfortable and can be figure flattering if donned with the appropriate shirt.

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Ah-choo!

Published September 16, 2008 by Editor in Chief

Blog blog, how have you been?
Do you have any idea of the mess I’m in?

I’m not really in a mess blog, I just wanted to grab your attention. Did I do it? Have I captivated you with that rhyming question? Or…

Blog blog, do you hate me so
After learning my intro was pretty much faux?

Okay, enough playing around. It’s time to focus blog! Tomorrow is Citizenship Day, and unfortunately I don’t get the day off. I’m a patriot, but my company refuses to pay for me to take a day off to re-read our nation’s constitution. It’s tragic, dear blog. Just think of all the things I could have done! I could have re-read the constitution, I could have watched This is America Charlie Brown: The Birth of the Constitution, I could have reviewed my favorite excepts from the Federalist Papers. Oh blog! Just think of the homage I could have paid to commemorate this nation’s proudest day!

In more unfortunate news, blog, I have a cold. It’s awful. I have to sneeze, and the nose runs, and I feel such fatigue. Also, methinks my forehead is feverish. I’ve been staying hydrated blog, but maybe I need to do more! Having a cold is so disheartening – my fortress is under attack. What was once a paragon of human vitality has been challenged, compromised, and left in a weakened state. Am I being dramatic, blog? Probably, but you didn’t know what it was like to be me sans cold. I was glorious. *sigh*

Ah-choo!

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Definition

Published September 2, 2008 by Editor in Chief

Hi Blog,
I pretty much just injected myself with sugar. We had our office monthly birthday party, which means ice cream cake and icing, and then I had my daily lunch, which is cake! I had two blueberry tarts, two peach tarts, one hazelnut slice, one cappucino mouse tart, and one chocolate mouse tart. This is a little more excessive than usual, but the sugar just kicked in, and I’m super excited! HI BLOG!!!!!

Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote. I went to Paris, France and got me some culture, and I started school too! So far so good blog! I am the most popular girl in my classes and every one loves me. Just kidding blog, I don’t think I’m the most popular, but I told my mom I was, so she would be proud of me. Just kidding blog. I didn’t tell my mom that – that would be weird. Oh, how I kid!

Blog tonight I have to work late because I have to call our Australia peers, and they are 14 hours ahead of us. Tonight!

I can tell you about Paris. It was absolutely wonderful! We saw all the tourist spots, like Le Tour Eiffel, Champs Elysee, Notre Dame, Les Catacombs, Le Louvre, Musee D’Orsay, Seine, and we ate at L’Entrecote and saw Le Lido! It was really a wonderful trip, and I have only fond memories of Paris! I also have pictures, 500 pictures! Sadly, I couldn’t use my French there because everyone spoke English and responded in English. It was most disheartening. Tant pis!

In other news blog, we have a new employee in our office, and he is around my age, which is fun. The other day we were both in the kitchen at the same time, and he got a phone call, and I heard him pick up and say in a hushed voice, “Hi Mom.” That’s all I know about him so far, but I plan to watch him assimilate our office culture. That’s always fun.

Also, dear blog, probably the greatest news of the day is that I’ve re-discovered a digital treasure trove – Backstreet Boys songs! They were sitting on my hard drive! What a treat.

….

Blog, I started writing the first part of the entry last week and didn’t post it. I have a new dilemma blog, one which I would like to confide in you about.

For class, I must pick something that stands for me. So, a symbol, or a thing, that I would call a personal identifier. Such a task requires deep introspection, dear blog, the likes of which I’m not particularly fond of bcause I like to think of myself as indescribable. Just kidding.

What really bothers me is that the first thing I thought about presenting to the class was my imawkward logo, the big eyes on the main page and in the comic, because really, I think about this site a lot. Except, I don’t feel like getting up in front of the class and saying, “I’m awkward.” This is in large part because I’m no longer the awkward, uncomfortable, slightly cartoonish character I was two years ago when I picked up the url. I’m a grown woman now, blog. I have evolved into a mature, thoughtful individual who knows what she wants out of life and is more comfortable in her own presentation. Confident in my choices and rationale, I’m a person I was once concerned I could never be. For example, today in a meeting one of my product requests was denied. The old me would have had an internal dialogue:

They said “No…” Was it me? Was it something I said? I don’t understand.

I made the request in rhyme. It was brief, simple and not out of hand!

I thought for sure they’d say “Yes! We’ll do it right quick”

But instead they said “No, the request makes me terrifically sick!”

It’s an uphill battle, I don’t know if it can even be won,

And getting rejected like this is not really fun.

How will I acheive my ambitions and goals

If I’m constantly being tossed onto rocky shoals?

The new me was not upset about it. I shrugged and thought, “It’s okay. I’ll try again – some other way.”

I know, I know, Old me’s internal dialogue was pretty awesome in comparison.

Anyway, back to my original dilemma. Now that I don’t think my mascot really stands for me, I’m a tad stuck. Also I don’t really want to get up and be like, “I’m awesome and self-assured, so behold, a personal signifier is this Self-help book with a giant red X drawn on it, because I will never need one of these.”

I need something that is positive, genuine, compact, and definitive. I’ll keep you updated blog!

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